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A divorced man continues his hilarious search for true love as he struggles to learn what women really want.Excerpt from Nice Meeting You - Breakup Form LetterDear [insert name of the person you will no longer be sleeping with, unless you get really drunk and lonely],I [have enjoyed/was bored by/regretted] our relationship but [unfortunately/fortunately/thank freaking God] it has come to an end. You're a real [special/nice/stupid] person, and I'm doing this in print so that you don't have any misconceptions about why our relationship is over.Here are the main reasons why I [don't love you anymore/need a break/can no longer stand the sight of you]:[Insert all that apply.]You smell.You're a slob.Your [pets/children/family] are nuisances.You're cheap.I found your Match.com profile, and it is chock full of lies. (Athletic and Toned Really)You don't wash your [sheets/shirts/self] often enough.You're a Boston [Celtics/Red Sox/anything] fan.You dress as if you're going to a [trailer-park party/high school gym class/luau/funeral].Your taste in [food/wine/TV shows/movies/music/coffee] sucks.I found compromising pictures of you on [your cell phone/Facebook/my friend's phone].Whereas you used to [workout/run/surf] multiple times weekly, now you spend more time [riding the couch/playing video games/surfing porn].You haven't bought me [jewelry/flowers/chocolate/squat-ola] in months.I'd rather pay twice the rent than have to stare at your [fat/hairy/bald] [back/butt/head] for another night.I've met someone [nicer/better/prettier/more handsome/less annoying].All that remains for us to settle at this point is the following:[I am/You are] keeping the [sofa/pictures/videos/ring].Please [leave my stuff in a bag on your front porch/bring my stuff to my place, and maybe we'll have farewell sex/donate my stuff to Goodwill, except my toothbrush, you ass].You [are/are not] allowed to hang out in my favorite [bar/gym/restaurant].I [thank/hate] you for the time we [spent/wasted] together. I wish you [good luck/facial warts/lonely nights]. If you'd like to discuss this in person, [I'm open to it/tough cookies/get over yourself]. I'm [sorry/glad/ecstatic] if this comes as a shock to you and causes severe emotional damage. Have a [nice/awful/lonely] life, you [deserve to find someone nice/loser/fuck nugget].[Love/Sincerely/Yours/Ew, please go away],[insert your name][The one that got away/It's your fault, so die already/Coming soon with a friend near you].P.S. You're a [cadaverous/clumsy/incompetent] lover. Go get some professional help. NICE The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence Improving health and social care through evidence-based guidance Find NICE guidance Browse guidance by area: Conditions and diseases Bentley Race This is the BTS video from my shoot with the very sexy Oscar Wood in the Berlin studio I was really excited about meeting the Polish star for a long time A transcript of Donald Trumps meeting with The Washington FREDERICK RYAN JR WASHINGTON POST PUBLISHER: Mr Trump welcome to the Washington Post Thank you for making time to meet with our editorial board DONALD TRUMP Nice Ride MN - Home Nice Ride Minnesota is excited to announce their partnership with Minneapolis Bike Month an organization designed to promote biking during the month of May Dating Tips AskMen David DeAngelo answers reader questions and offers expert pickup and dating advice in his weekly colum for AskMen The Nice - Wikipedia The Nice were an English progressive rock band active in the late 1960s They blended rock jazz and classical music and were keyboardist Keith Emerson's first Tagged - The social network for meeting new people The social network for meeting new people :) Millions of people are having fun and making new friends on Tagged every day You can too! Nice - Wikitravel Nice [12] is a large city in France on the French Riviera It's a popular destination for vacationers both young and old with something to offer nearly everyone It iT'Z Euless Willowbrook Houston Pasadena - Family Food & Fun iTZ is a family activities fun center with arcade games and bowling-the perfect venue to host your birthday party or corporate event Its Nice That Its Nice That has partnered with Adobe Stock a series of articles that examine and celebrate the role of art directors and creatives across the industry
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